Whispers from Beyond the Death of the iOS Blogger App

Hello, friends!

A lot has happened since my last post in October 2015. A quick timeline:

• June 2016: Twins turned one!
• August 2016: Learned we were expecting one more!
• April 2017: Baby Bee arrived!
• June 2017: My office moved from 7 miles away from home to 1.5 miles away!
• Summer/early Fall 2017: Hotter and more humid than a dog's mouth.
• Mid-Fall 2017: PERFECT biking weather. 

I was able to sneak in a couple of rides to and from work before it was getting dark before I could get home. I found my helmet (need a new one!) lights, and get them charged, but I'm not feeling very organized about it just yet and plan to start fresh in the spring when the days are a bit longer and the temps a bit more favorable. 

The twins are now two-and-a-half, and the baby is almost 9 months old. We were gifted my brother-in-law's bike trailer (yay!) this summer, so when it warms a bit, I'd also like to take the Tinies (the twins) on our local bike trail (Grant's Trail, from Kirkwood to Mehlville). My BIL also provided us with two helmets appropriate for young children, so we're all set.

I have also been able to walk to and from work a couple of times but that also requires organization and a bit more time over my schedule than I've managed with a nursing baby. But she'll have broader food options in a few more months and with my 40th birthday(!) coming up later this year, I plan to reinstate a lot of things that have been pushed aside for high-risk pregnancy or to care for three very young people in the past 3.5 years. (How? So fast. So long. So everything.)

Goals for my 40s:

• Ride/walk to work as often as possible
• Start running again
• Streamline my wardrobe and possessions
• Capsule wardrobes 

I hope to start posting more regularly here again - I'll aim for once a week.
It's good to be back. ❤🚲

Postpartum Peeps

Hello there!

It's been a long time since I've checked in here. SO much has changed since my January post. A few seasons, to begin with. Also: our family. And my address! Let's catch up, shall we?

Babies! 
Over the summer, I gave birth to boy/girl twins! We are all doing so well and they are now about three months old. I had a Caesarean section with them, and while recovering from the surgery itself wasn't terrible, I am finding recovering from a twin pregnancy in my upper 30s to be pretty incredible. I have been assured that some of this is due to hormonal changes that are sustained while nursing, but gracious. I feel like a little, old arthritic lady more often than not these days! The weight has largely come off though, my energy levels are stabilizing, and the babies sleep pretty well, so those are three great things going for all of us. The kiddos are absolutely darling and I am completely smitten! I remain really excited to introduce them to bicycling, which I plan to do in the spring when they have better head control! I am looking at Burley trailers as a possible Christmas present.

Location, location, location! 
As if doubling our family isn't enough (haha. sigh.), we also moved over the summer. We bid adieu to our little house and purchased a new, larger family home a couple of miles west of the first one. From a biking perspective, this is good, bad, and neutral. The good news is that we're in a neighborhood with more gridlike streets, which opens up cycling routes for me and for the kiddos when they are old enough to ride independently. We're also part of a more complete community, so we have things to ride to within a 1-2 mile radius of our new home, like the Y, library, shops, restaurants, church, etc. So I am really excited about incorporating bicycling to those places into my life, and until I can ride with them (or independently) more easily, I like that these places are also within walking distance of our new home. The bad news is that I've added 2.5 miles to my work commute, which, given how slowly I ride and the busy-ness of part of the route, means I probably won't ride my bike to work much, if ever. When I was 6 miles from work, it took me a solid 50 minutes to get there or home. I imagine adding another 2.5 miles to that would add another 20 minutes to the commute, and while I'd be willing to try it more readily if it was just me at the hubby, for the foreseeable future, there are two small people to feed and take care of the morning, and I can't fairly leave that to my husband, nor do I really want to plan to be up for the day at 5:30am, which I'd need to do to get riding early enough to get to work at a decent hour, only to hit issues at the other end, where I'd either have to leave work early to get home in time to release our nanny or plan to pay her for extra time. All in all, it just doesn't make sense right now. I'm a little bummed, but the other reasons we chose this neighborhood ultimately trump bike commuting to work, which I think I would only have done regularly if we'd shortened my work commute to 3 miles or less, and that radius around my office didn't offer much that made sense for us at this point in our lives. In neutral news, I'm the exact same distance to and from my local multi-use trail, so hey!

Source

Plans.
So that's where we are. I find myself feeling physically ready to ride again, but with that we're finally in a place to work on our home on the weekends. So I may not be able to ride a whole lot this fall after all -- if I do, I will definitely be writing about it, though, so it may be worth checking in once in a while. I will try to post more regularly again once I have figured out how to fit bicycling back into my drastically updated life!

x

Just Ride Already, Will You?

I posted on April 11th that I've been struggling with returning to riding. It was a long winter and I was still recovering from a nasty chest cold when daylight savings time rolled back around. And then I ran out of excuses, but I still didn't ride. I feel like I've spent the better part of the past six weeks looking at the two bicycles in my living room (Fleur and The Radish) as if I don't know how they work. None of it makes sense. I really want to ride, and yet for some reason, the idea of commuting to work or church is met with a huge wall of emotional resistance.

Riders' Block, if you will.

In some ways, I sort of wonder if ignorance was bliss last year. I read a lot of blogs like Lovely Bike and LGRAB and Simply Bike, where the message is just ride; it's not scary, it's fun! And so, I did. As I started cycling, I rediscovered my Twitter account and have started following a lot of other avid cyclists, many of whom are staunch advocates for ditching the car entirely, for infrastructure improvements, and for shaping the car vs. bike discussion in any manner of ways. I devoured as much as I could in order that I might discover tips and tricks, or avoid problems other riders had encountered. And when there was something that frustrated a rider, I could sometimes revel in the idea that things that weren't easy or pleasant for me weren't always easy or pleasant for others.

Perhaps it was continuing to digest all of this information during months when cycle commuting felt out of the question - icy, hilly roads with heavy and rapid traffic patterns, and a sun that insisted on setting before I would get up in the morning or leave the office in the evening - but it started to feel complicated.

It's not complicated. My brain is trying to make it tricky, but it simply isn't. I just need to ride.

So today's post is in preparation of three bike-related events I have coming up in the next week or so:

1. I'm taking a fun ride with Melissa this weekend;
2. I'm taking a Cycling Savvy class (at Melissa's gentle suggestion) next week; and 
3. I'm going on the local Cycling Savvy bike ride next weekend.

I am looking forward to having a reason to get on the bike, and frankly, someone to keep me company. Melissa and I will be exploring the frustrating parts of my bike-to-work route and trying some possible alternatives. And, while I've made it clear in prior posts that I'm on the side of protected bike lanes and more cycling infrastructure (I don't particularly enjoy riding with or in traffic), there are parts of St. Louis City and County where you must engage in vehicular cycling, and becoming more familiar and more comfortable in that role will hopefully kick the anxiety portion of my not. riding. Finally, a group ride will hopefully help to connect me with other riders in my local community (and perhaps, other relative beginners).

So, a shout-out to Melissa, because whether she realizes it or not, she's really the rallying force that's getting me back on the saddle, and soon. 

Here's to National Bike Month.

Let's go for a ride.

x

Maybe I'm Afraid?

I am having a hard time getting back in the saddle. 

I feel like a pile of excuses, and honestly? I think I'm a little afraid. I've read many stories over the winter (thanks, Twitter) of people being hit and killed by cars; I feel torn by the advocates for bike lanes and those who support more assertive interaction with cars. I resent that I have to take a helmet and bike lock with me everywhere I go. I'm not a pedestrian and I'm not a car, and I don't feel welcome on sidewalks or on busy streets. I'm frustrated that it takes me longer to ride than drive, and that arriving at my destination means lugging a bicycle inside or finding a place to lock-up, which takes additional time, when time-management isn't my strong point to begin with. Riding in the dark requires me to make sure lights are mounted and charged, and my rear-view mirror on my upright bicycle keeps getting loose and flopping over, making it functionally useless. I just want a designated bike path or lane everywhere I go, so we can all agree where the bike goes. Is that crazy? Oh, and I don't want it in a door zone, or shoved into a shoulder, or just hanging out on some street where the speed limit for the cars is 40mph when my top speed is, like, 12. Going downhill. With the wind at my back. 

I enjoyed riding when I was a child, and I could just get on the bicycle and go, but I don't feel like I can do that anymore. There are too many shoulds and oughts. There are more difficult hills and too-few gridded streets, which makes side-streets impossible to access or exit in so many places between me and my destinations.

When I rode last summer and fall, I forced myself through these things, and I will again, for the same reason I'm pushing myself slowly back into running: because the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and a huge part of succeeding is telling the negative and scared voice in your head to shove it.

I feel guilty even writing (and thus, admitting) these feelings, because I want this blog to be a place of excitement and advocacy, so that more people will consider riding, and I'm afraid if I admit there are aspects of it that I don't like, that I'll keep someone from riding who was considering giving it a go, and the reality is that the more people who ride the better biking becomes for everyone. More numbers encourage more bike-friendly infrastructure. More numbers encourage drivers to look out for riders more often. More numbers mean more drivers are also riders, which cultivates inclusion and empathy, instead of the "cars vs. bikes" or "us vs. them" mentality that makes riding less pleasant for everyone. 

I also want to name these feelings because if I'm feeling this way, so are other riders (or would-be riders), and I think breaking into cycling and feeling like you're an authentic part of that community can be a little scary. When I question my desire or willingness to ride, I feel like I don't "deserve" to be here. And I don't want to be part of any message that makes someone else feel like they aren't "doing it right" or "enough" or whatever. If you get on a bike, you are a cyclist, and your feelings and thoughts count and should be considered as we all figure out how to make cycling, driving, walking, and mass transit better options for everyone.

Further, I know there are readers out there who have overcome these feelings. I welcome any tips to help me get excited about getting back on my bikes. How do I get past my hesitation and my excuses and just get on the bike already? If you're feeling the same and need a little encouragement now that spring is finally here, please feel free to join the conversation. 

Let's talk.